We Invented the Perfect WIRED Autocomplete Glue
Released on 04/01/2022
[Announcer] Has this ever happened to you?
We've all been there.
[Lauren] What is Mark Wahlberg workout?
Right now, it's just trying to rip off these stickers.
[Announcer] The paper rips.
Oh, nope.
[Announcer] The incomplete answers.
What does Reggie Watts,
[Announcer] The residue.
What is Emily Blunts?
[Emily] Oh, for God's sake.
Medicine.
[Announcer] We fixed it!
Introducing a scientific and revolutionary product,
Wired AutoComplete glue.
The perfect peel, every time,
How does it work?
We tasked a chemist with creating a unique formula.
One and a half cups of water,
a half a cup of corn starch, a quarter cup of corn syrup,
and then two teaspoons of white vinegar.
You're gonna' stir it all together,
nice and slowly over medium-low heat.
You are gonna' watch it change right in front of your eyes.
And when you see that change happen, your glue is ready.
[Announcer] Now we're giving you a glue
that only sticks when you need it.
Your glue stick typically contains one main molecule
and it's called polyvinyl acetate.
And this is a beautiful molecule that contains a polar side
and a non-polar side.
So the non-polar part of the glue
is going to interact with any non-polar part
of whatever it is you're trying to stick on,
or stick together.
Whereas the polar side of the glue
is gonna' interact whatever side
of the polar piece it is that you're trying together.
So polar goes with polar, non-polar goes with non-polar
and the combination of which gives us adhesive
and cohesive properties
[Announcer] The cohesion and adhesion create the stick.
So cohesive, meaning it likes to stick with itself,
it's not gonna' rip in half,
and adhesive meaning it wants to stick
to whatever it else it is sticking to.
So it sticks to itself, and to what else it's sticking to.
It's perfect.
Is Owen Wilson?
Is Tim Heidecker?
[Tim] Really glued them on tight.
[Announcer] Your regular store bought glue
just can't do what our Wired tested and approved glue can.
Ding, ding, ding.
Thanks.
[Andrew laughs]
[Announcer] Wired glue is guaranteed
to be the perfect glue, every time.
Call now to secure your Wired Autocomplete glue today.
Wired Autocomplete glue is a fictional product
created by Wired for this video.
It is not a real product, it is not available for purchase.
The steps described in this video are representative
to how all glue works
and are not specific to Wired Autocomplete glue,
or any other trademarked adhesive product.
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