Okay, what did you do to my Walgreens card?

Good morning Henry.

There's a zero balance on my Walgreens card.

All my Amtrak rewards points are gone.

I can't even use my MCI calling card.

You hacked me didn't you?

You hacked me like I'm some kind of journalist.

Ready for a truce?

Truce, I called in my friend

from the public works department

and asked him to pull your toilet water sample.

Toilet water sample?

A sample of your toilet water.

You know what I found in there Ms. Winters?

Traces of THC.

That's marijuana, reefer, jazz cigarettes,

herb, 420, the sticky icky, the kind bud.

[Nicole] Yeah.

The gin and tonic.

That's Cockney slang for the chronic.

Do you know what I'm talking about, Ms Winters?

Yes.

Hookah fuel, Spiderman's girlfriend Mary Jane Watson.

What's your point?

God doesn't make mistakes, but you do.

Drug use is grounds for termination.

What do you want?

I want to work on whatever your secret project is.

Fine, but don't tell anyone I told you.

It's a computer virus from North Korea.

Right, are we for it or against it?

Do you even know anything about computer viruses?

Of course.

I know they have to do with computers.

I don't have time to teach you about viruses

and cybersecurity.

I need to work on stopping this thing.

Alright, not to worry.

I'll just send your bong water pee

to the undersecretary of firing your ass.

Okay okay okay, you can help.

And you'll give me full credit

if we stop the virus?

No way.

Yes way.

I bet there's a set of steak knives

for whoever cracks it.

So I'm gonna do all the work,

and you're going to get all the glory?

Well, now you know how I felt

about Oliver North taking all the credit for Iran Contra.

That was my baby, and that guys gets two Fox TV shows

out of it?

Well, you're gonna have to pitch in somehow.

Eh, don't worry.

I'll be a great asset to this project.

I've been reading up.

I already know that Trojan horse digital worms

can go phishing and set up honey pots in PCs.

Basically, it's a bunch of Dr. Seuss bullshit.

By the way, you know, Dr. Seuss, not a real doctor.

Never had a medical license,

but he did have a license to kill on my orders.

He killed Jim Morrison for me.

Oh, and that way, we know Jim Morrison

isn't behind this North Korean virus.

See, I'm already helping.

Who's Jim Morrison?