Okay.

[Both] Wired Auto Complete Interview.

Should we try to say it again?

Okay.

I'm Cobie Smulders. And I'm Billy Eichner.

[Both] And we're doing the Wired Auto Complete Interview.

Doesn't roll off the tongue.

[bright music]

You ever get exhausted talking about yourself?

I don't like talking about myself.

No.

Okay, you ready for this?

Okay, what is Cobie Smulders.

[Billy] What is Cobie Smulders' real name?

Jacoba Francisca Maria Smulders.

Whoa!

My father's Dutch, and so that's

why I have two middle names.

My great-aunt was a lovely woman by the name of Jacoba,

went by Cobie, and I was named after her.

Are you first generation? Canadian.

But you're Canadian. Yes.

Eh, I don't wanna hear about that.

How did Cobie Smulders get famous?

Am I? [Billy laughs]

What does it mean to be famous?

My kid asked me this.

She said, Are you famous?

I said what does it mean to be famous?

And she goes, People like what you do,

and they're excited about you.

Well, I mean, I don't wanna throw

your child under the bus.

She's really dumb. She is?

Yeah, she's super dumb. [laughs]

Oh, well you live in LA. No, I love her, yeah.

But at least you're famous

so she doesn't have to be smart, right?

If we're gonna really answer the question.

[Billy] Let's go there.

Getting on How I Met Your Mother.

That was the big thing that I did.

Your big break. Yeah.

The big break was that.

Is Cobie Smulders-- Oh, it could be anything.

In Avengers? Yes!

Wow!

I was in the first Avengers

and I was in the second Avengers.

We'll just have to see if there's more avenging to do.

What are they avenging at this point?

They are avenging a lot, 'cause half of us died.

I don't watch those movies. [Cobie laughs]

What happened to Cobie Smulders in Avengers?

I turned to dust. Did you die?

I turned into dust. You turned into dust.

That was the last that we saw.

That's the last that we know.

Well, we'll see what happens.

We'll see what happens.

Dust, that could come back. That can come back.

At any time.

Watch The Avengers and find out.

[Both] Was Cobie Smulders...

In Friends.

She wishes. I do.

She wouldn't be in Friends From College

if she had Friends money.

Yes, no.

Did you watch Friends?

Was that a big show for you?

Um, no. [board clatters]

Oh, this is yours.

Okay.

How tall is Billy Eichner?

Billy Eichner is 6'3, but shrinking.

When did you have your growth spurt?

I was always the tallest kid.

Oh, really? Always.

So I didn't really have a spurt.

You were just ahead. That sounds disgusting.

I was always the tallest kid, which is lovely,

but awful if you're tall and still terrible at basketball.

But I can dance!

[Both] Who does Billy Eichner.

Play in Lion King? Yes.

Very exciting. Yeah, very exiting.

I play the voice of Timon. Timon.

The meerkat who sings Hakuna Matata.

♪ Da ba da da da da dum da dum dum ♪

That's The Little Mermaid.

Oh, it is? Idiot.

[laughs] It is, it is.

Okay next, did Billy Eichner win an Emmy?

No.

It's horseplay. Let me tell you.

I've been nominated for two Primetime Emmys

and one Daytime Emmy.

To be nominated for a Daytime Emmy is already horrifying.

It's not Primetime.

Is this for Billy on the Street?

Yes. Okay.

They nominated me for Best Game Show Host,

which is only a category at the Daytime Emmys, right?

And I lost to the host of Cash Cab.

Whoa. Hello?

We're not doing the same thing.

No, that is not the same thing at all.

Oh man, he's a lovely guy,

but imagine losing to the host of Cash Cab.

And then I lost two Primetime Emmys.

[chuckles] Next. Yeah.

Billy Eichner host Oscars.

Not will. Billy Eichner need pronoun.

I think you would do an amazing job.

I think that you would crush it.

Thank you.

[Cobie] You would do such an amazing job.

I don't think I'm there yet professionally, culturally.

I think you would do great. Thank you.

Did you feel like Vanna White?

I feel very-- I felt like Vanna White,

and I have to say, I've never felt more like myself.

Can Billy Eichner Captain America? [laughs]

What is the-- You bet I can!

I'll [bleep] Captain all over his America.

[Cobie laughs]

I think that might have to do with a popular meme.

That's right.

Someone took a clip of Billy on the Street

where I'm running around with a group of wild lesbians,

and I'm saying let's go, lesbians!

Let's go!

Someone took that audio, the way people do on the internet,

and they put it in the mouth of Captain America,

in a scene from Captain America.

So he was shouting let's go, lesbians.

Let's go.

That became a meme of sorts.

Yes, I do remember that.

That was very funny. Yeah.

Let's go lesbians. Let's go lesbians.

Let's go.

Is Cobie Smulders married?

Yes, to Taran Killam.

Next question! [imitates gun firing]

Is Cobie Smulders in Agents of Shield?

I was in the pilot of Agents of Shield.

I didn't know that.

And then I was sprinkled

in maybe one or two other episodes.

Oh, fantastic. Yeah.

Is Cobie Smulders Canadian?

[speaking in foreign language]

That's my Quebecois accent. Ooh.

[speaking in foreign language]

Yes. You have dual-citizenship?

No. Ooh.

I have a Green Card, but trying to get that citizenship.

Well, I haven't applied for it yet, but I will.

No way to try. Yeah, yeah.

Is Cobie Smulders left-handed?

I'm right-handed. I'm left-handed.

Is Cobie Smulders. This is a long one.

[Both] Engaged to Josh Radnor?

No.

I guess I was on the show.

Maybe people think that we dated,

but we never dated on the show.

You're married, happily married in Hollywood.

Yes, I am. There you have it.

Is Billy on the Street real?

Yes, it is real.

Those interactions are not scripted.

Right. They're not cast,

unlike some other shows I know, which I won't mention.

[bleep] Cash Cab. Cash Cab.

Cash Cast In Advance is more like it.

Is Billy on the Street in American Horror Story?

Yes.

Is this your last name? [laughs]

I am Billy on the Street,

and I'm in American Horror Story.

I'm not doing the Billy on the Street persona

in American Horror Story.

You're acting.

You're playing a-- I'm acting [bleep].

I'm a [bleep] actor.

Did you ever hear of Laurence Olivier?

That's what I do. Next gen, right here.

Like someone watching the Wired YouTube channel

knows who Laurence Olivier is.

Is Billy on the Street the honey badger guy?

Someone took a nature video from a nature documentary

about a honey badger, and some flamboyant performer

added a voiceover to it that was like,

Honey badger don't like [bleep].

Or whatever, it was something like that.

It went very viral, and people thought it was me.

I guess it kind of sounds

like a Billy on the Street type of thing.

It is not me, and I'm sorry to disappoint.

Who is Elena? On Billy on the Street.

[Cobie] Is that how I say it?

Elena is a real woman I ran into on Billy on the Street.

One of the only real person, non-celebrity,

that I ran into who I brought back

to the show a bunch of times.

She's hilarious.

Because she's unbelievably funny.

Go on YouTube right now.

She will destroy you.

Are you ready? No.

I'm excited.

Aww, how did Cobie Smulders meet Taran?

Let me tell you guys.

It's a really sweet story.

The first time I met Taran,

he actually does not remember meeting me.

Aww.

He was shooting a pilot.

One of my good friends was in it as well,

and I went up to him after the pilot and I said hi.

Paul's friend.

Just wanted to say great job.

Does not remember meeting his future wife.

Oh, not very woke. No.

The first time where both remember meeting each other

was at a roller rink in Northridge.

We were 22 years old. Wow!

We were so young. So young.

And you started dating then, and that's the line.

That's like met, had a date,

maybe two days later together.

Whoa! Yeah, dude.

How old Cobie Smulders? How old Cobie Smulders?

That's rude.

You don't have to answer. I'm 36.

I'm happy to be 36.

Oh okay, I'm 31.

So?

She's older.

Who cares?

Not a big deal.

[Both] Are Cobie Smulders and Alyson friends?

Yes!

I love Alyson.

We are friends.

She's a lovely human being.

Do you guys keep in touch a lot,

the How I Met Your Mother cast?

We, you know-- That's a no, okay.

Next.

Can Cobie Smulders-- Dance.

Sing. Sing!

Ahhh!

♪ Yes I can, sort of ♪

Oh. [chuckles]

[Cobie] Blank, blank, blank, blank Billy Eichner.

What happened?

That is a good question.

What happened?

There was so much potential.

Now it's squandered on [bleep] YouTube.

I should be in movies.

You are now.

Now it's-- It's a cartoon.

Let's get real.

Whatever, whatever.

Okay, how much is Billy Eichner worth?

$8 million.

How old is Billy Eichner?

It's not sexist.

You get to say how old you are too, if you want to.

I am 40.

40. 40 years.

Did you just turn 40 this year?

Like in September. In September.

Did you do a big thing? I did a party.

Fun. Yeah, it was all right.

Can Billy Eichner

♪ Sing ♪

Yeah, I was a musical theater student in college.

I sing in Friends From College in a weird way.

Oh my god, can we just talk about that?

[Billy laughs]

Which you had to hear literally 40 times.

Every time was so amazing.

Watch our show.

Billy sings during his wedding.

Yeah, I sing Lovin' You by Minnie Riperton.

Can we just get the la, la, las?

♪ La la la la la ♪

That's it.

That's a little tease.

Does Cobie Smulders speak Dutch?

No. No?

No. No one wants

to hear about that. No.

Who does Cobie Smulders look like?

Liv Tyler I've got. Oh yeah.

That's it. There you go.

Well, you really ran the gamut.

Yeah.

Does Cobie Smulders have a baby?

I mean, I did. [Billy laughs]

I had two of them, and now they're older than a baby,

but I did have children.

Yes.

How old are they? They're nine and four.

Oh, that's cute.

Yeah, they're very sweet.

Does Cobie Smulders have a sister?

I have my sister Melissa, my sister Amy,

my sister Fiona, and my sister Julie.

Who is, do we think we know what it is?

Billy Eichner.

[bleep] you.

Google it.

You're already online. You just Googled it.

That's what you wrote in, idiot?

Good use of your time.

Is Billy Eichner nice?

No. I'm lovely.

She had to work with me, so that's true.

But you know what?

It's worth it.

I leave it all onscreen.

He puts it all out there,

and then you don't ever wanna see him again.

Exactly. So I'm really happy

to be here right now. That's the way I like it.

[Billy laughs]

He's lovely. Thank you.

Is Billy Eichner single?

Ooh.

I am single.

So, uh, maybe stop Googling and start Googling.

Ladies, you know where to find me.

Grinder. Grinder. [laughs]

[Billy laughs]

Is Billy Eichner on Bob's Burgers?

I am. Oh, nice!

I do a voice on Bob's Burgers.

I love that show.

I enjoy doing it.

Great cast.

Money ain't bad, you know?

That's it.

That's a wrap. That's it! [laughs]

I'm so glad we did this.

I'm so glad we finally answered your questions.

Yeah. Yeah.

Did you guys like this?

Did you enjoy? Why?

In as much as we enjoyed this?

Why are you watching it to begin with?

I was Cobie. I've been Billy.

[Both] And this was the Wired Auto Complete Interview.

Thanks for your time. Thank you for watching us.

Okay. [all laugh]