No, I Googled myself just for this.

The Kid Mero wife, The Kid Mero kids.

They were very wholesome in the beginning.

Now it's just like,

how much are you worth so I can rob you?

[upbeat music]

Hey, what up?!

It's your boy Desus Nice!

And I'm The Kid Mero!

[upbeat music]

All right, today we'll be doing

the WIRED Autocomplete Interview.

Yearp!

How Desus and Mero...

[Desus] How did Desus and Mero meet?

Cause it's like how did Spider-Man become Spider-Man?

True, true-- Like if you don't know that.

The origin story: New York City High School.

Mero's there, I'm there, boom bam.

Then I see him across the hallway,

I was like aye, in about, uh, 15 years,

you wanna get together and have a show on Showtime?

Mero said, Yeah, let's do that.

And boom, there we go. There, there, boom.

There, that easy.

How do Desus and Mero decide what topics to cover?

We have what is called a topic meeting,

uh, and we discuss the zeitgeist

and what interests us the most.

Then we pick and choose from that master list

of cool shit that we wanna talk about

and what appeals to us the most.

And, also, what's very important to the people,

you know what I mean?

Because we are late night for the people.

Also, people just tag us in stuff on the internet.

So, you know, sometimes we gotta talk about stuff.

[Mero] How is the Desus and Mero podcast

different from the show?

There's no censor, so we can say whatever we want.

And if we don't have to say allegedly,

cause ain't nobody, it's not worth it to try and sue us.

You're not going to get any money.

We're not popping like that.

Also, the podcast, it doesn't have to be as edited.

So we can do really hot takes the night before.

That's right. And, also, the podcast

we record it at night.

So it's kind of sexy. Yeah!

We record it with no shirts

and it really comes through when the audio's edited.

What do Desus and Mero drink on the show?

I used to slam down the Beck's, you know the Beck's?

Now before quarantine, now I'm on sexy Desus mode.

Sexy bod! You know what I'm saying?

I'm out here on The Peloton.

I'm trying to get-- trying to get ripped,

so my new thing, what I drink now,

Strictly Pressed Juices, alright!

You see your boy is a pressed juice,

I'm not drinking anything that

costs less than nine dollars retail.

Okay, shout out to the Juice Press,

you feel me! Okay!

This about that life!

I, on the other hand, am a stressed father of four

So I am sticking to my rum, and I'm--

when I'm not rummed up, it is coffee, Bustelo,

you know what I'm saying, on deck.

You know what I'm saying, because you need that strong,

that raw, you know what I mean?

This is like, Colombian coke.

You know, in coffee format. Know what I mean?

Need this! Keep it going all day! No food!

[Desus] What channel was Desus and Mero on?

If you ever ridden the New York City subway,

you would know we are on ShowTime

Showtime!

Know what show late night? Uh uh,

Sunday's and Thursdays, check it out!

It's your chance to experience ShowTime

without getting kicked in the face.

You know what I'm saying?

Or you might, virtually. Alright

[Mero] : What is Desus and Mero?

That's like what is the meaning of life dawg.

That question-- Listen

That's a question that has no answer, dawg.

We're the alpha and the omega,

we are everything, dawg.

We're the beginning and the end.

We're the snake that is eating it's tail, dawg.

We are infinity.

Desus and Mero is what happens when you divide by zero.

It is what happens when you have a rationale number's

divided by fractals, you know what I'm saying?

It is a mathematical equation that can't be defined.

It would blow your mind. Yooooo.

You want to know what Desus and Mero is?

Desus and Mero is when people are like

yo use your third eye

You can't be like I can't, I'm on my fifth eye

Think about that, wow; Wow! Yo, wow! Wow!

There you go You know what I'm saying?

Stephen Hawking was studying us before he passed away.

Rest in peace to the gods.

What day is Desus and Mero on?

Sunday through Thursday! Come on!

Ya, you know the vibe! Know what I'm saying?

[Desus] Where is Desus and Mero filmed?

Well currently I am in the BXR right now,

I'm in my apartment, you see the sneakers,

I--I--I haven't left my apartment

in like 5 months, I would love to see another person.

But it is what it is.

So, my part of the show is filmed right here in the BX.

And I'm out here in Bergen county,

[mumble], out here in P-town,

that's the Palace in Say county, Bergen county

We out here, you know what I'm saying.

Just look-- watching my kids run around this yard.

You know what I mean?

But, when we filming, this is the basement.

Like big Tigger.

[Desus] Where can I watch Desus and Mero?

You can watch Desus and Mero legally on ShowTime,

which is paid cable. Which is not the regular cable

you get, you got add a little more,

you gotta add a little spice. Know what I mean?

We are the parsley on paid cable.

You can also watch it illegally on YouTube,

and on Fire sticks.

I don't recommend that, but listen,

I get it, I get it.

So do what you gotta do! You know what I mean?

I understand the struggle, you know what I'm saying?

Where do Desus and Mero get their hats?

Well we have a lovely, amazing, like top flight

wardrobe stylist. Santra Saun, shout out to her.

Shout out to Santra!

She blesses us with the finest of head wear.

You know what I'm saying?

Because we both struggle with alopecia of the dome.

Ten percent of our hats come from Santra,

ninety percent of our hats we got, uh,

when you walk down the street and they ask you to

sign up for credit cards, or they're like

hey, do you want a water bottle for you to just

sign away your life right

So most of our hats come from like Chase, Manhattan,

TD Bank, and AM New York. So shout out to them!

Free hats, that's the way you go, okay?

Where do Desus and Mero get their clothes?

From all over the world. I am not joking,

just the other day I got a package from the UK.

So, Santra, shout out to her, Santra could be

Santra back in the day, if it was the early 2000s,

Santra would be getting our stuff from Yellow Rat Bastard,

but, no that clothing store is closed,

so Santra gets our stuff from all over the place.

And please watch, cause none of our shirts are cheap.

So sometimes we have on clothes on the show

and you're like what the hell is that?

What is it?

And I'm like uh uh uh, this t-shirt $750.

How you feel?

This is only 5 of these.

And I'm only wearing it once, for a half an hour

to record in my sneaker closet.

This is worse than the one percent.

I'm like Jeff Bezos with honey on him.

Wow Wooow

The guillotines are ready

Where did Desus and Mero go to college?

Shout out to College of Mt. St. Vincent and Riverdale

aka the Bronx, ah-ah-ah-ah

with the sister campus Manhattan College

Shout out to all my English majors.

All the Jane Eyre gang, yuuuuurp

Yo I went to BCC, shout out to the Bronx

[laughs] the Bronx community college, Broncos,

and then, moved on to Hunter College.

You know what I'm saying?

Which was the Hunter College Hawks.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm a commuty boy, know what I'm saying?

Proud commuter, you know what I'm saying?

And my college had its own train stop.

Know what I'm saying?

So I was, inordinately proud about that.

But, you know what I'm saying, shout out to Hunter College

Know what I'm saying? You made me the man I am today.

Are Desus and Mero [keyboard typing]

Are Desus and Mero brothers? Are Desus and Mero brothers?

If you don't know any uh, people of color,

you probably think we are; we are not related.

We have different parents,

we did not grow up in the same house.

But I get it, I get it,

you probably looking at us, and you're like

wow, DJ and Viavomoni Jones, but no

we are totally different people.

Okay? No relation whatsoever.

Are Desus and Mero the number one show in late night?

[Mero] Are Desus

Come on, come on, duh

Desus and Mero are the number one show in late night

before we were even on late night. So how you feel?

think about it

There's a bunch of people that agree with us.

You feel me? Just like there's many people out there

that think that Rum Raisin ice cream is delicious.

You know what I'm saying?

So, there's something for everybody.

We are such a number one show in late night,

society felt threatened, and that's why

the government did not allow us to be nominated

for an emmy. I said it! I said it!

Believe it or not.

What Desus blank.

What is Desus's real name?

Oh that seems like a question a cop would ask

and that seems like none of your business.

So, mind your business.

You trying to bring me up on a federal enditement?

Why do you want to know my real name?

What's wrong with Desus Nice?

That's a a better name than what my parents picked.

Mind your business.

Which beer does Desus drink?

If you don't know this than what are you, like--

You already know the vibes, Mr. Beck's Decor,

and if that doesn't work, I'll do a Heineken.

And if that doesn't work, I will drink and IPA

just to be an obnoxious jerk in a bar,

and be like hey, have you ever had blue fish?

I brewed this myself

So, ya, the answer is Beck's.

You know it, Mr. Beck's on deck today,

I'll say ah-ah-ah-ah.

Know what I'm saying?

Alright, questions for Mero:

Why Mero.. Why does the Kid Mero wear a hat?

We already know this question,

this question is anti-Dominican,

but we're gonna ask it anyway. Mero, why do you wear a hat?

Listen,

I wear a hat because me and my hair line

parted ways, in my mid twenties.

That's right, Tell the truth, tell the truth

And a lot of y'all do this

you know what I mean, a lot of y'all do this

and this is called hairline shaming.

You know what I'm saying?

It is!

It's no different than any other type of shaming

kink shaming, you know what I mean?

It's the same thing.

You're shaming the guy that likes to do bdsm in CBT

and stuff like that. Don't do that!

Listen, let Mero live alright?

Mero is allowed to wear a hat!

That's right! This is America.

And this one is for Desus:

Where Desus... Where does Desus Nice live?

Where do I live? I mean, it's no big deal

it's just, the greatest borough in the world,

in the greatest city in the world,

Ah-ah, BXR day in New York City

born here, my parents came here from Jamaica

they landed in the Bronx, I'm still here

and if you see me in the bodega,

or you see me in a Chinese food store,

you're like doesn't that guy have a ShowTime show

and I'm like ya, but I still in the Bronx

you run up and you get your face cut,

you know the vibes, I ain't getting nominated

for Emmy's, so I'm keeping it grimy

ah-ah-ah-ah yeeeeerp.

[Mero] Where did Desus grow up?

Um, I will uh, refer to my last answer:

BXR there, you know the vibes ah-ah-ah-ah

233 you know the vibes, shout out to the homies,

233 DIE, BXR day, not leaving New York,

you know what I'm saying? I'm running for mayor one day

and my whole stance is going to be

We selling rolling paper for cheap,

and open containers for everybody,

even homeless people. Let's go!

What is the Kid Mero's age?

Because apparently we are doing demographics.

Or something

I am 37 years old. I have, uh, four children,

and I'm watched, you know what I mean?

And people ask me this all the time, uh,

I don't know why. Do I look younger?

You know what I'm saying?

I--I appreciate y'all that think that I'm like 25

and shit like that, you know what I mean?

Shout out to y'all.

But I am actually 37 years old. You know what I mean

which in Bronx years, it's 838.

True, true. And next question:

What is Mero's favorite bodega item?

When you go to bodega, what's, do you, a must cop?

And I know it's not condoms.

Definitely not condoms.

New Mero's favorite bodega item is

a nice ice cold Snapple.

You know what I'm saying, the classic Snapple.

Lemon tea, you know what I'm saying,

like, you can't beat it, know what I mean?

It takes me back to my younger years, you know what I mean

when there was like Snapple was like a fancy drink

Remember that? When Snapple was like high end iced tea.

But that's it. And pre uh TV Mero,

I would say a new Port 100. Know what I'm saying?

Yeeeeeerp

But shhhhhh, that's on the low.

Is Desus...

Is Desus a nickname?

Is Desus a nickname? Some people say yes,

my parents would definitely say yes,

but um, seeing as I am a mantury candidate,

and I was raised by the CIA to eventually overthrow

Antigua, um, ya, I'm gonna say it's not a nickname

it's actually the file name for the process

I was sent through.

My actual full name is Desus hyphen 2478 dot j.peg

do not run me through Macraphee,

I definitely got a virus.

That's right. You know what I'm saying.

Desus is actually an acronym,

I can't even tell you what it is,

cause then I'd be murdered.

Here's a question for Mero,

Where is the Kid Mero from?

Alright, come on, you know what it is, BX all day

Yeeeeeerp East street, Monduie Ave.

You know what I'm saying, 40 Sowie out here

We did it. You know what I'm saying.

But I moved all around the Bronx,

so shout out to all the neighborhoods,

You know what I'm saying?

Shout out to King's bridge, you know what I'm saying?

Shout out to 176, shout out to Mount Eden.

Hofmey, Hughs, uh,

University, uh,

if I keep going I going to just keep going forever,

so I'm gonna stop right here. East street all day,

you know the vibe.

How tall is the is the Kid Mero?

I am probably flat footed

a full 6 foot 2 inches.

Catch me with Timbs' on, I'm 63 and a half.

Holla at your boy.

This one is for the Desus Nice.

How tall is Desus Nice?

Well, as anyone who watches and is on Twitter knows,

my height is a variable. Okay?

Shout out to all my programmers,

my height is a variable character that's 255 integers,

which means I could be 53, I could be 67,

it just depends who's standing next to me.

I'm a chameleon. Alright?

You see me, you don't know,

are you getting short Desus, are you getting

the short, insecure Desus that can't date a women

that's taller than him?

Or are you getting tall Desus who's 65

wearing Timbs' on a date? You never know.

I could be short, I could be tall, it's whatever.

It's whatever you want me to be.

If you wanna cradle me like a newborn, I'm that height.

If you want me to be the big part of the spoon,

I'm that height. It's whatever you want baby.

I'm flexible. I'm verse dynamic

Ehhh, ehhhhh, ohhhhh, ehhhh

Who is the Kid Mero?

Oh, a deep one.

Eh, listen man, The Kid Mero is just

a kind hearted soul, who is here to spread worth and joy

to those that need it. In these dark times.

And I'm also here to secure these bags bro,

because you know what I'm saying.

Cause two chains ain't enough! You know what I'm saying.

I'm trying to upgrade from the house in Jersey

Fat Joe say yo, where you get money you from the Bronx.

You-you know what I'm saying, buy yourself an estate.

In Jersey, and I said, Fat Joe coolsmania, I salute you,

you are a legend in the Bronx, and I will follow you

real astate advice. You know what I'm saying?

So I'm out here in Gettysburg, saying f*** up.

That's who I am. It's your boy.

Say who is the Kid Mero family?

Not really an English question, but ehh, let's go

Big Russian bot energy right there.

yo, for real

shout out to you for trying, Duolingo ain't failing

you know what I'm saying?

Who is the Kid Mero's family?

This is my family, you know what I'm saying?

They are great, and I love them.

They're wild, but I love them. Know what I'm saying?

[claps] there you go.

Yo, you been chopping up with your boy Desus Nice and

The Kid Mero. Thank you for your questions. Yeeeeerp.

You know what I'm saying? We'll be back. Maybe

Back baby.