Why do I hate the Big Bang Theory so much?

You'd think I'd be the perfect audience for this show.

The subject matter of this show is admirable.

It's about a group of scientists

who appreciate comic books, science fiction,

video games, you know, the finer things.

But it ultimately has as much to do with geek culture

as Green Acres has to do with agriculture.

Characters on this show merely mention

cosplay or light sabers or Dungeons and Dragons

and the studio audience busts a gut.

Well, who's the best superhero?

(audience laughs)

You can't ask a question like that in here.

Are you tryna start a rumble? (audience laughs)

Where was the punchline?

The geeks on Big Bang Theory aren't being laughed with,

they're being laughed at.

Am I actually supposed to be delighted

to hear a reference to Star Trek on a network TV show?

So we tell Spock all that stuff he knew wasn't true,

like saying Spock didn't care his mom died?

(audience laughs)

I missed Comic-Con and the new Star Trek movie.

(audience laughs)

I'll be delighted

when I see a new Star Trek show on network television.

Thanks very much.

My theory is Big Bang Theory

has to pile on pop culture references

because the characters are fundamentally uninteresting.

They're obtuse, socially maladroit ciphers.

Grown men prone to childish emotional outbursts,

clinging to the pop culture of their youth,

obsessing over petty distinctions

that mean absolutely nothing to any

normal...

(groans)

Let's cut it there.

Let's cut it there.

I need to spend some time alone in quiet reflection,

like Spock at the beginning...

Nevermind, nevermind, not like that.

What popular geek touchstone do you despise?

Let me know in the comments.

Also, I hate that the Big Bang Theory

has literally trademarked the meaningless

catchphrase Bazinga!

What?

Bazinga, I don't care.

Not a word, not funny!