(steam whistling)

(loud bang)

Jackpot!

A gift from my anonymous sponsors.

Thanks, I hardly endorse your product and or service!

Let's see what survival equipment they've got for me.

Waterproof MRE,

worthless!

Oh!

First aid equipment,

worthless!

Combat tomahawk,

worthless!

(person screams)

Ahaha!

The Anime Encyclopedia,

score!

I know a lot of people say that the Hunger Games franchise

is just a watered down YA-version

of the brilliant Japanese movie Battle Royale.

Well, I completely disagree.

Hunger Games is actually a watered down YA-version

of the classic Schwarzenegger film

Running Man.

But my real beef with the Hunger Games is that

I don't buy the premise.

I'm supposed to believe that everyone in this future society

are continually glued to their TV sets by this contest?

No chance.

It's a terrible live show.

I can overlook the fact that capturing the action,

as it's portrayed in the film,

would be impossible

as it would require tens of millions

of carefully concealed cameras.

But look, the Hunger Games begin

with a chaotic flurry of action

in which a third of the contestants die.

We don't have time to invest in any of them.

I assume that the societal collapse

that led to this dystopia

also destroyed all episodes of Survivor

because the show runner of this Hunger Games show

doesn't understand how to pace a competition reality show.

After that initial chaos,

we settle in for weeks and weeks of this.

(soft piano music)

No killing or dying,

just this.

(soft piano music)

And then for a change,

more of this.

(soft piano music)

Live, round the clock footage of

hiding.

Oh my god, Peeta!

And maybe building fortifications,

and conserving rations so that they don't slowly perish

from malnutrition.

I don't care how starved for entertainment

these future people are.

They're not going to spend days watching children

build tree forts and forage for edible lichens

and every once and a while getting murdered.

The Hunger Games would be much more exciting and dramatic

if the kids were forced to answer trivia questions

every two hours.

You!

What planet is Sinestro from?

Ahh, wrong!

Bang!

How would you tweak the rules of the Hunger Games?

Let me know in the comments.

Do you think I'm being unfair to the show?

Tell me why in the comments.